This has by far been the most transformational year of my life.
Following what was easily my most painful, messy, traumatic year (2018), I took my experience of being broken by unexpected life turbulence and used it to turbo-charge my personal metamorphosis.
Looking back over the last 2 years– 2018, one of immense loss and deep pain, to 2019, one of beautiful magical transformation….I can’t help but smile and celebrate who I have become as a result of not only LIFE, but my choices despite my circumstances.
I lost myself for a while. And what I’ve realized even more recently is, I lost myself in ways before the turbulence hit. And it was scary. From the outside, yes, I was still happy, positive, inspiring, ambitious Aly. I never lost my core values or personality. I still loved myself and gave love to everyone around me. But, for a while I felt like something was missing. It was a quiet nudge I intuitively heard but consciously ignored for a while. I couldn’t figure out what it was or where it went, but I knew it was my responsibility to integrate it back into myself if I wanted to feel like the best ME.
This year I didnt accomplish everything I wanted to, but, I became the PERSON I wanted to. The Aly that I knew was lost and locked somewhere inside of me…I freaking WORKED to bring her out and build her up. I set clear intentions for myself, put in the personal development work day in and day out, and set boundaries for myself that I before was too afraid to lay out. Now, I am my favorite version of me yet. I deeply love and LIKE myself as I am. I am proud of how far I have come, nothing compares to the feeling of being the hero of your own story.
One key element to this healing work has been the realization that prior to the recent breakthroughs I have made, I see that I was more consumed by the imagined perceptions of the people around me than I realized. I have now got to a place of acceptance for who I am as I am– where I don’t need you to like me, cause I like me. And if youre human, you KNOW how hard it is to get to that place, and it is always a continuous work in progress.
I can’t even recognize former versions of myself, I truly feel worlds different from where and who I was compared to even just a few months ago. I let my breakdowns lead to my breakthroughs, my crisis became my healing. I have worked with brilliant coaches and mentors, read a million books, listened to tons of podcasts and interviews, and have prioritized my self care and self growth more than I have in years. I learned that the only way to get out of the darkness is to step into it, walk through it, and trust in the light on the other side (even without a fraction of it in sight). I learned to move through things to move on from them…to walk into the fire instead of around it. I’ve learned how badass it feels to become the me of my dreams.
At the beginning of the year my little cousin Lily asked me “who is your favorite person?”, I quickly replied “me!” — I believe we should ALL be our own favorite person. You shouldn’t like anybody more than you like yourself. You shouldn’t admire anybody more than you admire yourself. Once that happens, you lose your power, your confidence, and in some ways your potential.
And so I ask you to ask yourself this….. If you’re not your favorite person right now, what can you do to BECOME that person? The version of you you were MEANT to be.. you weren’t put on this earth to be miserable. Or mediocre. Or bored. YOU LITERALLY GET ONE SHOT AT BEING YOU….don’t waste it looking around at others and simply WISHING you were somebody else. Create that version of you. Build it up from the ash if you don’t have a solid foundation yet..you have more potential than you give yourself credit for.
It has been almost a DECADE since I made the decision to live my life by the motto “everything that happens to be is the best possible thing that can happen to me”. It has been almost a decade since I had my epiphany moment—the one that has had the most profound impact from any single thought…when I first realized “I can CHOOSE to be happy…no matter what”. And it has been a decade that I have chosen myself over and over again. I’ve chosen my growth over my suffering. I’ve made self-awareness and self-mastery my top priorities, and because of that, I am here to show you the path towards your own light as well. Your story can be rewritten, no matter who you let write the pages up until this point. YOU have the power to take your happiness into your own hands, I know this, because we all do.
I’m spending my NYE working on me. Journaling, reflecting, reading, writing, working with my coach, and getting clear about WHO I want to be and WHAT I want to create in 2020. This is about to be the most badass year yet. And, I’m committing in writing: I’m going to start writing my book…finally! HAPPY NEW YEAR BABEZZZZ!!!!! *insert shaq gif*